its been a long while~

hye...
dah lamak kamek sik update kamek pun blog tok. ada jak bnda kenak polah. polah keja gik, kenak g kursus gik, meeting gik.. kepak mek..
tok kamek update blog kamek pake bahasa srwk sbb kamek baruk jak blaja klaka srwk ngan cdak srwk kamek kenal time kamek kenak pegi sukan kewangan ariya. best juak mun dah dapat klaka srwk. dpt mek eksyen lebih. hahaha~
sikdala gurau jak~
tok kamek masih kat opis kenak polah ot ari sabtu. minggu tok nang turn kamek kenak ot. last week kamek pegi spore, partner mek cover tuk mek. this week nya cuti, so mek kenak cover tuk nya ndah. ya la keja kamek dctok. keja sik byk tp kenak nunggu agen tuk sign borang cdak. ya jak.
ok la.. kelak mek sambung gik. maok balit tok. kaktok maok pagi bayar bil2 n upload pic. byk juak pic mek kenak upload. polah cd gik..edeh..

p/s: sory x sempat buat translation utk yg x faham. hehe~

Sato...Duwa...Sato!

I'm at the Academy right now. And now I have red mask on my face [read:sunburn]. it's the second day of the marching module. still have a week and a half to go just to finish the module. at the end of the marching training, there will be writing and practical exam for marching. gosh~... actually this is my first time to go marching with a uniform regardless my experience when i was in school which the marching for sports day we wore those baju kurung just like 'pakaian beragam' [wth~]. now...its the real march! feel the sweat all over my body dripping and dropping. and the taste of it when it flows all over the face.
this morning i got to 'hentak kaki statik' for 20 times as the punishment for not polishing the shoes. gaaa... mana tak nya.. last night i slept early. at 9 dah tombang. well... just 20 times 'hentak kaki'. luckily, not push up. but even push up pun i dont give a care. i'll do it. so what?
hahaha [read:berlagak angkuh].
got to remember the 'doa' [read:pre-command].. i dont know why those instructor called it 'doa'... it sounds like this;

Doa Mengawadkan Squad
"Selamat pagi squad. Pagi ini saya akan mengawadkan squad. Penanda di sebelah kanan si polan, penanda di sebelah kiri si polan. Itu adalah barisan hadapan. Barisan tengah, tengah juga. Barisan belakang, belakang juga. Hukuman salah jangan dibuat. Hukuman saya yang betul squad hendaklah buat dengan cara yang betul dan cergas. Faham itu squad. Faham itu squad. Faham itu squad."

There you go. Got to memorize this and other 'doas'. *sigh*

ok.. i have to stop now. gotta go polish the shoes.
Gosok...jangan tak gosok..Gosok~ kasut kawadku... gosok!

oh pungguk! oh bulan!

Tak tahukah bulan itu besar?
Tak sedarkah bulan itu jauh?
Tak perasankah bulan itu cantik?
Malah bintang-bintang jadi inangnya

Tak mungkin bulan menyahut rindu pungguk
Lihat saja pungguk
Duduk termenung menunggu bulan jatuh ke riba
Nak terbang ke bulan pun tak sampai
Nak capai pun tak tergapai
Inikan pula nak meriba

Wahai pungguk
Sedarlah bulan pun tak memandang
Mengerling jauh sekali

Tak tahukah kau kecil?
Tak sedarkah kau cuma duduk di sini?
Tak perasankah kau tak setanding bulan?

Berani sungguh pungguk rindukan bulan~


rmcKUA
1930h

crapping~

so here goes my first attempt...i managed to finish it (the melody and the lyrics) during lunch break :P
thanks to my man Zacko for introducing me to this site www.jamstudio.com
the wordings might sounds 'yucky' but if u dig it correctly, u'll find the meaning underneath.
this song is still untitled. i dont wanna put the title as 'untitled' cuz that's sooooo typical. lotsa people used 'untitled' as a title tho'...therefore, you are so most welcome to suggest the title~
till then, sila enjoy.

"........" <----space for the title

Look at every human being
They got poop inside them
Where all those poop go
Why do I care?
Why would I care?

Dont put your poop on me
I cant handle dirty dirt
Dont spread your poop on me
Cuz I am paranoid

Me too, I'm a human being
I got poop inside me
Where all those poop go
Why do you care?
Why should you care...

1408h
RMCportKUA

The Loyal Companion :~(

Dear Loyal Companion,

i'm writing this just to show my appreciations...

you're the only one who listen to me. no matter what i said or when i talk craps. you just be there. without going anywhere.

sorry that i scream or sing. i know its really annoying but thanks for staying. no one could ever done the same thing like you did. you just be there. without going anywhere.

you were always there for me no matter how your condition would be. you were there no matter when it's raining cats and dogs or even under the freaking hot sun. you took care of me. and you just be there. without going anywhere.

after these years... we spent most of our times together. i couldnt forget the nights where the moon shine on us.. everytime i slept with you... you were always there to comfort me no matter where we were or where we went. you just be there. without going anywhere.

do you still remember the places that we went together? all the vacations we had? have i told you that i was quite surprised that you managed to get to the top of Genting? you're strong dear... you made me proud.. as well as my friends. you know they liked you, dont you?

you get along with my friends. you helped us a lot. especially the times when u and i just met and in the process to get to know each other. you know all my secrets. and the secrets forever it will be. i'm sorry that i cried on you. silly me. but you just be there. without going anywhere.

i'm really sorry if i didnt take the very best care of you. all the bruises and scars... owh how i wish those weren't there. but you are beautiful. and you'll always be my beautiful baby... i'm sorry ok baby? i know you mad at me. but you just be there. without going anywhere.

and i just wanna let you know that you're the only one who knows me in and out. what i always do when there's no one around me. i know i annoyed you quite a lot. but you just be there. without going anywhere.

but baby, now the time has come for us to not to be together anymore. i hope you'll always be in a very best health. be good ok. make them proud like what you always did.

i dont know how the new companion is going to be like. whether we can get along with each other just like the chemistry that we had.
~*sigh*~ i hope u gonna wish me well too.. i have to move on.

till then.. so long.. fare thee well~


^Tribute to Kelly Tzsar^







i'm gonna miss you!
















thank you dear!

hopes & dreams

~hoping and dreaming~
~hoping for a better life~
~dreaming of an unrealistic life~

keep on hoping::keep on dreaming::keep on moving

SHOOOOSSHHH!!!

So the atmosphere seems to sore
And slowly it opens the door
For the butterfly to fly away
Doesn’t want it there to stay

The butterfly never knew the reason
For it had been given a poison
And being 'shooed' from the wonderland
Where else to go? To the scary ‘wanderland’?

Work Out + Nature

Works DONE! Hooraa!!

Soon after 1700h i stepped out of my office to this place called Taman Gelora. It's a park where u can find mostly fit senior citizens; the apeks and the nyonyas spending their 'sweat' times close to the nature.

Then.. what am i doing here? Hehe.. of course..get close to the nature as well.. and do some jogging, several push-ups, quite number of sit-ups, hanging at the monkey bar (man, i LOVE monkey bar!)..get sweat here and there..and owh, inhaling fresh O2 (its oxigen...duhh..)..
But anyway, u gotta see the senior citizens; supposed to be at our granny's age.. they still can rock the track! i mean.. i lost my breath after like 15 minutes of jogging but they jog non-stop. wtf! tercabar weyh.. tercabar..

whatsoever pun lah kan.. actually i've been here for 4 days. No overtime jobs for this week so somehow i gotta find a way to spend my sweet times doing something good for myself. nah.. i got my biceps rebuild again, flattened my tummy and better stamina. i think. (saje nak psycho diri sndri..huhu~)..

today, i got one more thing to do besides working out.. its nature time! enjoying the evening at a healthy environment..

i'm alone but ain't lonely...

till there was the sunset...

and it was getting darker...

and scarier~~

but then... i still stopped for a while to catch some more photos of nature..






so its time to go home...

of all the above photos of nature, which one, in your opinion is the best photos? believe it or not... those photos were being shot using my sony ericsson K530i baby... cuz i dont have any DSLR of my own.. hmmm... i wish i had one..
and and and... i didn't do any editing on those photos. Mena mek sik bulak! (read: benar saya tak tipu!-sarawak dialect)

so... that was it. A healthy, sweaty, freshy Good Friday evening.. without any companion.

***sigh***

TT ? YL?

have to letak- why? what happened?
ade hal jap- apehal?
u jap, ade org call- sape?
TTYL- uhuh, when is 'L' gna be? next year?

perhaps, this might be the indirect way to say.. urm.. malas la nak ckp ngn u?
correct me if i'm wrong.
or maybe.. something is wrong somewhere.
my apology if it comes from my mistakes.
i just hate being in uncertainty.

Ahah! Found it! Yeayy!!

Enjoy the mellow melodies and great lyrics..
dont forget to open those links in new tab or u might lost this page

ANGEL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XEA1Jmb0HE

I GO..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sfkt4zIHncU

I Go
So long, fare thee well
The dancer and the dancing days have taken leave and fell
So turn down this bed of stone
Quench me with the deadly nightshade from the rose that you belong

The long December rain is falling now
Running down on streets to nowhere
Music is my life – you’re my sweetest nightingale
But I can’t hear it here no more
And I go
I go

Hush now, don’t shake or break
Words have fallen silent like soldiers to the grave
No matter what they do or say
Lay me on the sleepy meadow by the tracks upon your face
- Words & Music By Pete Teo. All rights reserved 2008

JUST ONE BOY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xOBi_vM-2c

GING GANG GOOLIE-of all the versions in Youtube, i prefer this one~heheh..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZQqeVpgILU

but this one is more proper
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrYxfH08-wc

hah, lupe nak cakap..i also LOVE the Granny in that movie..with her accent and when she mouthed words to Mahesh..durrhh..she thot everybody can understand her 'Yokshire lips'..hahaha~

Dey Monkey!!!

Ahah! At last I did something satisfied me enough. Apit and I went to see this movie..Talentime.

Yes. It’s Madam Yasmin’s.

In this movie, what I saw was Madam Yasmin is handling racial and religious issues which seen by some (including myself) as controversial but she views it as a most refreshing and sensitive take on the subject. She makes no conclusions of her own in the film, merely letting the presence of the subject hang around within the story but allowing the audience to come to their own verdict.

Usually in her films, she would start with the word “Bismillahirrahmanirrahim” at the beginning of the movie. But I was like got pinched when this time she started it with the same translation but wrote in Tamil language. Brilliant!

Standing ovation to Madam Yasmin that she could lead my feelings vary from one scene to another. At the beginning, I was contented with the jokes especially made by Cikgu Adibah, the Abah (Harith Iskandar) as well as the family member’s bond between each other. This includes relationships between Mahesh’s uncle and his mother (brother-sister), Mahesh and Bhavani (also brother-sister) and so on. And then being carried away with the feelings of having a butterfly in your stomach (the moments when Melur and Mahesh stare silently into each other's eyes; expressing their love without words. The absence of voice in Mahesh's character does nothing to lessen the young man's intensity. Combine that with Pamela's vigorous expression and their chemistry is most surely flammable!). And then the feeling of sadness (the scene when Hafiz spent his moment with Mak Cik Embun binti Abdul Hamid at the hospital-his Mak and owh, when he performs on the Talentime night with a touch of erhu played by Kahoe..honestly, I almost drown my eyes with tears. I said almost eh) and lots more significant scenes I cant write it down here.

Madam Yasmin captured the essence of humanity in her films and the images in Talentime simply echo that sentiment. It is the truth to say that her films are like slices of life's cake where you can sit down and get a whiff of its delicious scent before taking a bite into something fulfilling.. kan???

By the time end credits roll, I was thinking of buying the OST because the music in this film was damn amazing! even the songs still resounds in my head..

“Angel, I have a dream bout you I can’t defy…”

“There’s a four leaves clover sitting under the sun…”

“Could it be magic…its must be magic…”

“So long..fare thee well....You’re my sweetest nightingale but I couldn’t hear it here no more..and i go..i go..”

“Dinggang Guli Guli Guli Watcha Dinggang Gu!”

And of course.. “O re piyaa...”

And yeah.. the quotes!

“Just like how the moon shines the dim skies of night and yet still shine even in the bright skies of daylight”

“Life is like Blackman’s left testicle. It’s not right, it’s not fair”

“Show ‘em your shoem”

“The secret of the beautiful lotus lies in the mud from which it grows.”

“When you silent it speaks, when you speak its silence.”

In my opinion one of the message was, even when you feel so lonely, all you have to do is open your eyes and see there are people who cares about you. Perhaps not the way that you wanted it to be, or as perfect as you would hoped it would, but to have that someone to shine that a little bit of light for you when you are in the dark… huhu~

The conclusion is this film is worth watching. Tak rugi namblas ingget. Rase cam nak tengok lagi.

hanging high without strings

there are 22 pax of customers here in Coffee Street, Kuantan. i'm one of them.. owh hey, there are another 3 coming in.. gosh i'm so damn bored.what am i doing here? hmm.. actually i'm waiting for my bro to finish his tuition class. and i REALLY hope that no one recognize me here. malas nak bertegursape.
i wonder why ppl likes to hanging around here. food not so good plus xpensive lagi. but then, from my observation, kat sini u'll find diffren faces of kuantanese. perhaps they're actually not a kuantanese. can tell by their appearance tho.
i ate the fatty rice. not good. teh tarik..manes! its addin up my glucose then make me more hyper. but not so hyper dah skrg. i know. dah tue daahh..
its quite cloudy day for a sunday. jap lagi nak ujan kowt. owch..i got an ache in my tummy. its must be the fatty rice. and the cgup. and the teh tarik. aduuii.. mane apitt ni..dah 330 dah ni.
so, what i'm gonna do after this. lets see the options:
1) berak
2) hanging out kat megafuckingmall
3) watch movies
4) balik tido
5) go to tmn gelora, work out (heh, this is the least i wud do.. malaas dah)
6) driving my kellytszar around kuantan
7) ok. no idea

sheesh! why do life have to be this so damn bored!
i wish for better things to do. but what? gimme sum ideas..

aduiiyy..isi dalam usus ni mcm dah tak tertahan minta dibebaskan. berkecamuk dgn gelora yang membuakbuak mahukan ianya dilepaskan bebas. betapa ianya terseksa dgn persekitaran yang sempit sepanjang lorong usus ini. suatu masa ia senyap dan terkadang bagai menggeletek minta simpati untuk keluar melihat dunia yang penuh pancaroba ini. secara beterusan ia menerjahnerjah, menolak sesama sendiri dalam persekitaran yang sesak dan menyakitkan. gerbang usus pula dgn penuh kuasa yg ada hanya mampu tertutup rapat agar ia tidak bebas di tempat yang tidak sepatutnya. isi usus, kuharap kau mampu menahan sabar sedikit waktu sahaja lagi. akanku bebaskan kau sebebasbebas yang kau mahukan. ku jua tidak mahu kau terus terseksa di situ. sabar ya wahai isi usus.. masamu kan tibaa..

ok.gtg.n.

the Academy I

i owe u one..
now i'm gonna tell u why i hate being at the Academy.

i) have to wake up real early.. (which i hated the most)
ii) six meals a day.. (breakfast,brunch,lunch,hi-tea,dinner,supper~ u know i cant resist food. look at me now. i'm FAT)
iii) no cguping after meal
iv) have to cover my head the entire time
v) surrounded by 'people' kind of people
vi) walked up the hills just to get to the auditorium (ODT)~ shorrt cuts are forbidden. wtf.
vii) be in the uniform under the freaking hot sun
viii)sweat a lot
ix) protocol here and there
x) the big fat assignmentssss
xi) the exams
xii) sing the anthem which i could never memorize the song
xiii)k e p o y o a n orang
xiv)cant hang out at all even at night
xv) et c'etera

but anyways..sumone told me that i can turn it the other way around. make it better at least for myself. so, regardless the hanky-pankies, i was trying so damn real hard to make myself enjoy. (bathroom is the place.so sorry WC..must've been loads with ciggarette buds...) and because of the Companion, i managed to stay till the freakin last day..at the Academy.
But but but... i will be there AGAIN (oh, God!) at the end of June..for another two months of physical challenging stuffs i had to undergo and i wish, i wish it will be a lot waaaaay better than before.

dear Companion..please give me strength, will ya?

Thinking About 'Needing You'

need your touch to comfort and to sooth me
need your act to make me happy
need your voice to make me entertained
need your scent so i can breath
need your smile to make me calm
need your hug to make me warm

i need u. i reallyreally need u

! big fat ASSignment !

i - Campurtangan kuasa luar ke atas Malaysia
ii- Kelakuan dan tatatertib dalam perkhidmatan awam
iii-Faktor tenaga manusia yang mempengaruhi produktiviti
iv-Peranan perlembagaan dan hak asasi manusia

.: w t f :.

15 March...

happy birthday, mak..
..al-fatihah..

the Academy

just a few minutes writing in a rush to express that i am so detest and hate being in this induction course and i just want to go home. now.
later on if i have some more time i will tell why i hate being here.
got to go.

[ q u o t e ]

" They say if you love something let it go
If it comes back it's yours
That's how you know "

Aguilera

nothing much to say about that...*sigh* lagi..

" q u o t e "

"just don't let yourself to be used again"

former companion

but how do i know if i'm being used? i know i will never realize it until i'm done being used.
*sigh*

perasaan hari ini pulak...

S A N G A T
B I M B A N G

perasaan hari ini

B . I . M . B . A . N . G

::finally::

:nerve wrecking:
:heart pumping:
:palm sweating:
:body temperature gets higher:
:feel the adrenaline:
:prickly stomach:
:nervous:
:anxious:
:worried:
:edgy:
:jumpy:
:panicky:
:tense:
:uptight:
:thrilled:
:energized:
:agitated:
:fearful:

..and finally i met the Gifted Gorgeous Gem...

::it's unbelievable::naturally gorgeous::terbaek!::

the song of all times

This is my favorite all times song i play with my guitar. Love the mellow melody but somehow I kinda lost and couldn't understand the lyrics. i really hope there will be someone telling me the meaning of this song..
listen to the song at...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evaX5u4F3yY&feature=related
and check out the lyrics..

Yesterday I went outside
With my mama's mason jar,
Caught a lovely butterfly
When I woke up today
Looked in on my fairy pet
She had withered all away
No more sighing in the breast

I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want it slips away
The goal slips away

Smell you on my hands for days
I can't wash away your scent
If I'm a dog then you're a bitch [pause]
I guess you're as real as me
Maybe I can live with that
Maybe I need fantasy
Life of chasing butterfly

I'm sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn't mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want it slips away
The goal slips away

I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
But I ain't never coming back
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

it's called butterfly by weezer

haa..now you know..

Androgyny is a term derived from the Greek words ανήρ (anér, meaning man) and γυνή (gyné, meaning woman) that can refer to either of two related concepts about gender: the mixing of masculine and feminine characteristics, as in fashion statements; or the balance of "anima and animus" in psychoanalytic theory.
An androgyne in terms of gender identity, is a person who does not fit cleanly into the typical masculine and feminine gender roles of their society. They may also use the term ambigender to describe themselves. Many androgynes identify as being mentally "between" woman and man, or as entirely genderless. They may class themselves as non-gendered, genderneutral, agendered, between genders, Intergendered, bigendered or, genderfluid.
The term androgynous is often used to refer to a person whose look or build make determining their gender difficult but is generally not used as a synonym for actual intersexuality, transgender or two-spirit people. Occasionally, people who do not actually define themselves as androgynes adapt their physical appearance to look androgynous. This outward androgyny has been used as a fashion statement, and some of the milder forms (women wearing men's trousers/men wearing skirts, for example) are not perceived as transgendered behavior.
Note that androgynous and butch are often considered equivalent definitions, though less so in the butch/femme scene.
An androgyne may be attracted to people of any sex or gender, though many identify as pansexual or asexual. Terms such as bisexual, heterosexual, and homosexual have less meaning for androgynes who do not identify as men or women to begin with. Infrequently the words gynephilia and androphilia are used, which refer to the gender of the person someone is attracted to, and do not imply any particular gender on the part of the person who is feeling the attraction.

hey.. nah..

we started out as a stranger
we listen to each other
advising one another
we spend sometimes together

though we haven't met each other
i enjoy your company, what so ever
each day i feel like a little bit closer
to you my imagination figure

credits to the technology
internet, GSM as well as 3G
at least i can have the view
of a gorgeous gem, that is you

for the voice i could listen
make me swirl in my own illusion
for the words i could capture
in my mind and started to picture

o! what a stunning ornament
make me stiff at this moment
though it will be impermanent
i don't care, i'm in contentment!

what is up with 14th feb, anyway?

14th feb 2009.. i spent the whole day on the internet trying to figure out how on earth can i change the blog's layout. duhh.. because i'm so not into this blogging thingy so i found its kinda hard eventhough it surely not. then after several attempts, i gave up.. it's ok. maybe la-er..or la-er la-er..
then i went out..spent my times in this so damn boring town and gosh..i'm so restless.is there any other place to hangout other then e-c-fucking-m or mega-fucking-mall and e-t-c (read:et cetera)? so i went to the bookstore (yea, i dont read books, so what?) and i couldnt find books i'm looking for.its not for me, its for my project at work.(work sux,i know)..gave up,so i just wandering around looking at people..especially couples.hmm..its V day..just because i dont have anyone to celebrate with so i said to myself.."ee..perayaan org kaper"..sorry,my bad.
then dinner time..luckily i have my lil' brother to accompany me. we went to this restaurant namely 'crocodile rock' which located at the left side on the way to teluk chempedak, opposite the annexe.the food..quite nice..
spaghetti marinara for me and carbonara for apit..and..nachos as an appetizer.
i drank ice blended fruit punch and mango freez (i was dehydrated..i needed more liquid) and apit..mango freez and the juice from the sky.
after stuffing our tummies with high level of fat and cholesterol, we went home.
so that was it.14th feb 2009.
it is nearly pathetic isnt it?

p/s: bha, the novel is shopahollic kan? but which shopahollic eh? &sisters ke, to manhattan ke, &baby ke???... ishk..anga xtaw la novel2 ni..

well.. alryte

I’m spreading my wings
And fly with joyful feelings
The mood so jolly
The emotion so holy
For this atmosphere I love to stay
Please never let me go away
It is my pleasure
To please u for sure

rapid rapport

First time we say hi
Wish we never say goodbye
Can’t forget the look in your eyes
Straight to me, made me stiff like ice
Then I looked back at you
Blushed, you changed your view
As if you didn’t give me that gaze
Suddenly I felt like I’m in a cloud of haze
Then you gave me that smile
I stunned for a while
Silence became louder
Heart beating faster
And this ice was melting
Like water it was flowing
Now I’m in uncertainty
Is it just a momentary?
This feeling of ambiguity
That started promptly

i do think everybody used to experience such situation and feelings where it will be a beginning of a relationship or scandal or perhaps unexplained situation as a result of when two pairs of eyes met..

what is 'chall'?

salam...
as a quick start for this blog, i want to share something which i found quite interesting as i search for the word 'chall' in yahoo. it's from a website called Urban Dictionary.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chall

it goes like this...

1.	Chall
	Often found to wear awesomely stripy wooly hats at all occasions. Rumour has it you can find them either at 'college', festivals or in the pub. Has no real relevance to similar word 'chow' but some have attempted to eat one in the past. 1. 'I can see a Chall, it has an amazingly colourful hat and is somehow holding 6 beers in one hand.'

2.	chall
	synonym for chill; chill with an "a" instead of an "i". fort: "dude that's not chall at all" stuie: "dude i know..." fort: "stuie, chall man... don't worry" stuie: "obi-fort... thank you... you're the man"

3.	chall
	a texan pervsion of y'all chall woncho rooooom clean?

so, let's see if i look up for your name in the dictionary..i wonder what will it be..hmm...
ok.. i prefer 3rd definition.hehe